How.Long.Does.It Take.To Hear Whether You Got The Job My Husband Can’t Decide If He Wants To Save Our Marriage – How Long Should I Wait For His Decision?

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My Husband Can’t Decide If He Wants To Save Our Marriage – How Long Should I Wait For His Decision?

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for one spouse to be determined to save their marriage while the other is unsure if this is what they want to do. I often hear from wives who are trying to get their husbands to work with them in the present tense to save the marriage.

I recently overheard someone wanting to know if you should give your husband an ultimatum or deadline to make that decision. He said, in part, “over the past couple of months, our marriage has been very shaky. It is clear to me that if we don’t get aggressive about saving our marriage, soon there will be nothing left. Things are getting worse every day and it’s so hard for me to watch it happen without doing anything to save it. I want my husband to commit to working with me to save our marriage. But he’s still not committing. He says he’s not sure our marriage can be saved and he’s not sure if he wants to waste his time, money, or go on an emotional roller coaster. Every time I ask him when he might have an answer on what he wants to do, he says he doesn’t know yet and acts angry that I’m pushing him. But meanwhile, our marriage he continues to deteriorate. Should I give him a deadline to make his decision? I feel like my life is in limbo while waiting for him. It seems so unfair that everything depends on his decision, but I can’t v Live my life just waiting”.

This is a very common complaint. Many wives believe their husbands aren’t acting (or deciding) fast enough and it’s starting to seem like he’s never going to make a move or take a chance. You’re right that this delay is frustrating and unfair, but there’s a real danger in pushing it too quickly towards the answer you hope it won’t give you. I will talk more about it in the following article.

How long you wait for your husband to make a decision about saving your marriage (or letting it go) often depends on how invested you are in that same marriage: I understand losing patience with this process. When I was trying to salvage my marriage (and my husband eventually moved out), this whole turn of events seemed to drag on forever. And while sometimes I wanted to speed up time so I could see how the whole thing would work itself out, sometimes I was afraid of just that because I knew there was a chance that once I made a final decision, that very decision could be go ahead and divorce me and end the marriage forever. I was very clear that this was not what I wanted. So in the end, I was willing to wait as long as needed (although I didn’t like having to wait that long).

However, I was always determined enough that while there was still a chance that he might decide to work with me to save our marriage, I owed it to myself not to force him to give up or decide to move on because he was tired of me pressing him. constantly or I remind him how long I’ve been waiting for him to make up his mind. Yes, it was frustrating, but I always felt that as long as I could wait without a firm, final no, then we still had a shot. And as long as I was able to see at least some progress or bright spots in an otherwise delicate process, I was willing to have more patience than I ever thought possible on my end.

I would definitely understand a different thought process, especially if you harbor doubts about your marriage as well. It’s easier to walk away within a certain time frame if you yourself aren’t fully invested and harbor your doubts.

There’s a lot you can do on your own to save or work on your marriage while you wait for your husband to make a decision: While I really don’t like the phrase “work on your marriage” because it carries negative connotations that make many people resist committing, you should know that this process is completely possible on its own, especially in the beginning. You don’t need your husband’s commitment or even his full cooperation to get started.

There’s a lot you can start doing without announcing it or even asking for his permission or cooperation. You and only you can take inventory of your marriage, its problems, and your husband’s perceptions of it all by yourself. Your job is to change your husband’s negative perceptions and feelings about these issues (to the extent you can) without his cooperation or even without his knowledge of what you are doing.

Here is just one example. A very common complaint I hear from husbands in this situation is that the “spark is gone” and that they don’t want to have to express their feelings or go to counseling to get something back that is long dead. They see it as a waste of time, money and their emotional resources (which they don’t like to share anyway). the rewards without having to lift a finger? Do you think then he might change his mind about cooperation, commitment and saving your marriage?

Because nothing says you can’t channel the woman who first put a spring in your husband’s step with her playful personality and infectious laugh. There’s nothing he says you can’t stay positive and playful so that he responds the way you want him to even when you both may have doubts. Yes, this requires taking risks. And you may have to steer your way when he looks at you with a little confusion in his eyes because he’s not sure where all this is coming from. But what does it matter when you’re taking the first steps to save your marriage, make major improvements, and probably get that positive decision and commitment from him you’ve been waiting for forever? My response to the question posed is that if you are invested in your marriage, you are often willing to wait as long as it takes while you gently nudge your husband towards the desired response. And I personally think that ultimatums and deadlines often backfire.

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