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Are You Being Taken For Granted?
We are all taken for granted once in a while. And sometimes we don’t even care, if someone we love and is really close to us does. But if it’s a normal thing that keeps repeating itself, it sure hurts and irritates. This world is full of people who complain that they are taken for granted by their bosses, colleagues, spouses, friends, brothers and sisters, and even their own children. They hate it, but are never really able to change it.
If one observes carefully, it is easy to see that these people are nice and respectable; In fact sometimes too nice and decent. They are soft-spoken, willing to please, approachable, sincere, and hardworking. Generally other people like them and even praise them, behind their backs. But somehow they never get the kind of recognition and reward from which it really counts.
A lady, who loves her husband and children, works hard all day, takes good care of them, is an ideal wife and mother in the eyes of the whole neighborhood never gets a simple thank you from her husband and his sons. They may say they love her but never really appreciate the effort she puts on her. A loyal, talented, hard-working and sometimes even over-the-top employee is praised by some colleagues, but doesn’t seem to get the promotion. It’s someone else who gets the raise and promotion and soon that person finds himself working under someone who is nearly half his or hers in qualifications, experience and talent, and also whose loyalty is questionable.
Does this sound like your story or someone you know? Isn’t that too common? The answer will probably be “Yes”. Now, you may ask, why do some get all the recognition and reward, even if they don’t deserve it. But then most of the others are taken for granted, one way or another? Can this be changed? If yes, then how?
It’s often not what we do that matters, but how we do it that captures people’s attention. Here are some off-the-wall strategies that can get people to recognize your efforts. They almost always work for me and they will for you too.
Work smart, not hard: Do you grind when others are having fun, at home or in the office? Does everyone know you’ll do everything if they don’t? You have to change it. Call others and give them responsibilities and deadlines. Keep following them up and ask them about the progress. Ask for explanations for the non-compliance. Bully if necessary and see the difference within days. People may not like you for it at first, but they will soon start showing respect and stop taking you for granted.
Promote yourself: How will anyone know how hard you work and what your accomplishments are if you don’t promote yourself. You don’t have to hire an advertising agency, but present your results in front of those who really matter. Tell your family about the great job you did for them. After each result, tell your bosses what you did, either verbally or by sending a report. If you think action and results speak louder than words, you’re wrong. No one is watching all of those actions take place and there are many more waiting to steal your credit.
Not only to help, but to oblige: It’s nice to help others. Unfortunately in today’s world people take your goodness for granted and start taking advantage of it. So, help people but show like you’re doing it as a favor and making an exception. Make them feel obligated and indebted to you. People might call you a snob, but let them. It’s much better than taking it for granted.
Be assertive and stubborn to prove a point: People who are unable to express their opinion clearly and forcefully are always taken for granted. Be assertive when expressing your opinion and point of view. Listen to others and pretend you don’t understand what they are saying, and keep repeating your point of view. People may call you stupid, but they will take you much more seriously.
Be aggressive and passionate: By asking you to be aggressive I’m not asking you to argue with people. But set aggressive goals, work aggressively and passionately. Aggressive attitude on some level creates positive energy that other people feel. And this energy helps people recognize you and your work.
Develop a noise value: It’s not always nice to be nice. Let people know that you too can get angry and you can call the spade a spade. Be polite, tactful and diplomatic, but have your say. Tell people clearly what you feel. They will never take your feelings and emotions for granted.
Be growing and ready to move forward: Of course everyone will take you for granted if they develop a sense that you are stuck with them and not going anywhere. So, keep growing. Make continuous improvement in yourself. Develop a better attitude, work on your self-image and add value to your skills and qualifications. Show your willingness to move forward and you’ll see people’s attitudes towards you change.
Epilogue: Everything I told you above may not come very naturally to you at first. But keep making conscious effort for some time until it becomes second nature to you. However, that doesn’t mean you’ll use these strategies indiscriminately. These strategies are like medicine and should only be used if symptoms exist.
In addition, you must continuously work on improving your self-image. People who take you for granted, your lack of assertiveness, meekness, doing all the work yourself, people who don’t take you seriously, etc. They are usually manifestations of a poor self-image. Once you have a healthy self-image, you will no longer need to consciously use any strategies to gain recognition, but you will get it automatically.
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