Can You Get.Cbild.Support.Lowered.If.You Take.A.Lower.Paying.Job Parenting 101 – 10 Keys to Raising Children

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Parenting 101 – 10 Keys to Raising Children

Any adult who has children knows it’s a challenging and hugely rewarding experience, especially when children grow into responsible, independent, caring, productive adults and parents in their own right. After helping raise my own children, being a professional martial arts instructor since 1979, teaching thousands of children, and helping other parents raise their own children (so they tell me), here are 10 keys I feel are important to raising children with success.

1. Direction

Children need a leader, someone who is strong, responsible, thoughtful, and dedicated to their highest and best good. What children don’t need is to be parents to their parents. Children don’t need to be friends, friends, or best friends with their parents until they, the children, are adults. Children are children. They need leaders to lead, guide and direct them through their early years of life. Those leaders are the parents who need to be at the forefront of raising their children. For children to be successful in life, they need a strong parenting foundation that puts them ahead of their parents’ careers, activities, relationships, and jobs. Children should never be considered appendages to a parent’s life. Until the kids are of age, the kids I am parent’s life. When this commitment is given to children, it is beneficial to their early development and subsequent success as independent, responsible adults.

2. Structure

Children need structure. They need basic guidelines. They need to know what they can and cannot do. They need to know that there will be consequences if they step outside the confines of the structure set for them. If they stay within the borders, everything is copacetic.

Life and society are governed by laws and rules: ethical, moral, social, family, national and spiritual. That’s life. When laws and rules aren’t established early, children learn not to abide by them because they were never taught to abide by or live by them in the first place. They then run the risk of becoming lawless, rebellious, and potentially trouble-ridden adults. Thus, the home, and the karate studio in my personal case, should exhibit definite rules to create the necessary order for a fundamental structure in which everyone thrives, succeeds, and learns to manage the boundaries of life in all its aspects.

3. Cause and consequence

According to the structural aspects of children’s lives, they must be made to understand that every cause has a consequence (effect), that every action has a reaction, and that a wise person always looks at the consequences of his actions Before he commits them. Cause and effect is a law of life. It’s not just a nice thought. No one escapes the law of cause and effect, and when children are not raised with an understanding of this fundamental and fundamental law of life, they find themselves speeding into a brick wall. Nothing good will ever happen in a person’s life unless they were taught as a child that every cause has a consequence. Good deeds create good consequences; bad deeds create bad consequences. A life of causes without consequences is an illusion and a harbinger of difficulties and problems to come.

4. Discipline

Discipline is the crux of success. A garden that is not regularly tended, weeded, watered, fertilized, trimmed and trimmed grows into an unruly and out of control mess of weeds, vines, bushes, trees and grass. There may be life without discipline, but it will no more be a good life than a garden left untended will remain beautiful. When children are born, they represent life in its purest, most beautiful and innocent form. To keep it that way, children must be taught to be disciplined, to think before they act, to exercise self-control and judgment. An unruly horse, for example, is a dangerous animal, but if trained to be calm, disciplined, and controlled, it can be an excellent helper, resource, companion, and friend. Unruly children run the risk of becoming not only like unruly gardens, but also like wild horses, out of control and extremely dangerous to themselves and others. A simple look at the lives of many celebrities reveals the wreckage thrown on the rocks of an unruly life.

5. Ownership

One of the fundamental principles of a successful life is this: Our life; our responsibility. Likewise, as children grow older, it’s important for parents to keep reinforcing the following sentence in their young minds so that when they are adults it will manifest itself: It’s your life; it is your responsibility.

My children will forever be welcome in my home, as I’m sure your children will be in yours. That’s how loving families operate. That said, to ensure children have successful lives, they need to be functionally aware that their life is their responsibility and they need to grow into that concept. What happens when the parents are gone? What happens when they die? If children are void about their responsibility for their own lives, what then? It is parental love that generates self-responsibility in children. To test this, simply ask yourself as a parent: “What if my kids were stranded alone on a deserted island? Could they survive? Would they be strong enough? Resilient enough? Resourceful enough? Balanced enough? If the kids had grown up with the understanding that It’s your life; it is your responsibility, they would at least have a chance to survive by fighting. However, if they were looking for someone or something else to care for them, the prospect of their survival would be dubious at best.

Too many children are not taught this fundamental life principle of taking personal responsibility. This is obvious because there are too many adults who don’t understand it or don’t live it. Regardless of what anyone wants to believe, no one is responsible for us but us. It is not the government’s responsibility to take care of us. It is not the responsibility of our friends, neighbors, colleagues, even family once we come of age to take care of us. It is solely our responsibility. Raising children to live by this principle is essential to their well-being and success in life.

6. High grades

For children to have a good sense of themselves, they need to be made to strive for high grades, not mediocre or low grades. Therefore, parents should raise the bar for their children. Give them something to strive for and achieve. In the process they will develop habits, principles and a mindset that will serve them well throughout their lives. In martial arts, we teach, The process is the product. Achieving a black belt level is noteworthy, but just because a person falls short of such an esteemed level doesn’t mean the lessons learned along the way have been wasted or useless. Therefore, parents need to raise the bar so their children can learn to aim high and achieve their goals and in the process generate a sense of confidence gained through competence.

7. Sense of values

What happened to people who have a sense of values ​​in their lives? It seems that our society is more interested in its indulgences, pleasures and gratifications than in its set of values. For me as a father, grandfather, teacher and citizen, this is extremely sad. Living only to indulge, play and be gratified can only lead to an empty, insubstantial life. Great people throughout history have lived by a sense of values ​​and not of gratification. As the great Dr. Albert Einstein admonished: The goal is to uplift the spiritual values ​​of the societyAnd Try not to become a man of success, but rather to become a man of value.

Values ​​include but are not limited to: humility, discipline, self-control, patience, kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, consideration, respect, poise, honesty, integrity, a strong work ethic, and doing the right thing rather than the profitable thing. As the American intellectual, writer, journalist, political commentator, and Harvard graduate Walter Lippman put it in his Preface to Morals (1929): He has honor if he holds to an ideal of conduct even though it is inconvenient, unprofitable or dangerous to do so. Where is this value today? Something to think about and certainly important for children to know.

8. Just rewards

Giving the right rewards at the right time for the right reason is important in raising children. My message to my children and students was and is this: We do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, not because there’s a reward attached to it. Doing the right thing is its own reward. When children learn this simple life lesson, they do things out of principle, not with the expectation of some material reward. The constant giving of only material rewards such as money, candy, clothes, or cars does nothing to foster the character of our children, which is the foundation of their lives. Occasionally, external rewards are effective, but do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do it’s the right thing to do when raising children.

9. Appropriate praise

Praise is a necessary act when raising children. However, praise should be given when appropriate and that means when the child performs well, gets high marks, displays excellent character, etc. Praising a child “just because” gives them a false sense of self. Telling a child that he or she is great when they have misbehaved is doing them a great disservice. Of course, the word “big” is overused in today’s society. Telling someone that they’re great when they’re not lowers the bar and keeps lowering it until there’s no more bar to reach, only to stoop to. The result is that children and society continue to degrade and descend, not improve and ascend.

10. Respect

Having respect for yourself and for others is crucial for a well-functioning life. Yet today it is sorely lacking. For example, adults should never allow children to address them as “friend” or “buddy” or “hey you.” How does such a child behave in the real world when he applies for a job and addresses the boss as “friend?” What happened to children referring to an adult female as Mrs, Mrs, Miss, Mrs or to an adult male as Mr or Mrs? I personally find it interesting that many young people today simply don’t know how to address an adult.

By virtue of the fact that adults preceded children in age and experience, children must respect them, not the other way around. The flow of respect goes from the child to the adult first, not the other way around. For example, in the Army, it’s not an officer’s job to salute a non-commissioned officer. It is always the lower-ranking soldier’s responsibility to pay respect to higher-ranking soldiers. This is life. Who in their right mind would command God to do something or call him “friend?” The same process applies to students and teachers, players and coaches, children and parents. There is a hierarchy to life and it must be recognized and respected.

Summary

Raising children is challenging. As parents, we all have our ways and means. This article has simply offered some of my own personal principles on raising children and students that have worked for me during my tenure as a father, teacher, and grandfather. I don’t claim to have all the right answers, but the ones I’ve offered have been successful. I am only sharing them as a means to do my part to ensure a class of children grow up to be responsible, respectful, independent, integrity and healthy adults.

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