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How To Stop Taking On Negativity From Others
Recently some students were asking if they can soak up negativity from the people to whom they are giving energy healing. There is nothing in the process of giving spiritual healing that requires you to take on their negative energy, but some people have developed a habit of sponging up things from others. But they don’t just do it when doing healings or giving energy work or counseling, they do it everywhere–with their families, at a party, in the grocery store, so of course they also might do it when counseling or supporting people.
Over-empathing usually begins in childhood, with the child being naturally hyper-sensitive. Feeling what others feel is a natural gift all babies are born with, but if early life is challenging, it can become a defense mechanism to know when to get out of the way, or a way to know how to blend in, please others, and feel safe. If the child develops a fearful or defensive vibration, incoming information can be increasingly perceived as scary.
Since our vibration attracts more of what we’re vibrating, there is always a spiral going on. Life either gets scarier and worse, or it gets happier and better. It is not reality, it is every individual’s creation. That’s why I don’t listen to psychics or channelers who say scary, apocalyptic things-that’s their reality, not mine. Their “guides” are being heard through the filter of their low vibration. To hear pure Source clearly, your vibration must be high. That means you are happy and doing well in your life.
Being sensitive is a gift, but any gift taken to extreme becomes a curse, so to speak. Any strength taken to extreme becomes a weakness. Your gift of sensitivity to what other people are feeling is meant to be a temporary reading. Take the reading, then let go of the feeling. Do not attempt to carry it for them or take it on for them.
But over-empathers have an exaggerated sense of responsibility for other people’s feelings and well-being. They don’t let others take responsibility for their own vibration and life. It’s actually a form of trying to controlling others or Life.
Feel into this if you are an over-empather: It is not your job to save, rescue, carry, or even manage others. The “wounded healer” sacrifices herself to help others, and it does not ultimately serve her, and she doesn’t serve her clients nearly as well as she could.
The wounded healer is extremely “old-paradigm” and we don’t recommend being one. Wounded healers may unconsciously get satisfaction from their sacrifice, they take on that stereotype unconsciously. There is so much more joy available to you in giving your service without sacrificing your own health and wellbeing!
If you as a helping person are unhappy, still seeking, broke, tired, overweight, out of shape, and unhealthy, your first job is to get yourself and your life working fabulously. You must be tapped in before you can effectively help others tap in. Get happy, healthy, light, and prosperous and people will naturally want what you have. Live it and demonstrate it in your daily life, and they will flock to you. They pick up your vibration.
If you want to help others, role model what you desire them to have.
Signs of over-empathing include:
· Weight gain–taking on the weight of the world, or your body trying to shield from what you’re forcing it to endure
· Fatigue, lack of clarity, confusion, or overwhelm
· Getting attached to how well your clients are doing
· Sadness, victim feelings, feeling unloved and that it’s unfair that you give so much love
· Unhappy life–not taking care of yourself and minding your own vibration
· Trying to get your worthiness or redemption from helping others rather than raising your own vibration–you can’t help enough people to make this happen
· Feeling a grandiose need to be important rather than going within for quiet, deeply satisfying worthiness
The habit of over-empathing is detrimental to everyone involved, but it is easy to stop. We suggest everyone stop over-empathing, especially if they are going to help people in any way professionally.
It is only a vibrational habit, and you can stop, without processing your childhood–without processing anything, working on yourself, or doing any special rituals. You intend it in the here and NOW, where your power all is. Yes, childhood low vibrations will rise, but there is no old-paradigm “work” involved.
Intend powerfully to stop over-empathing and let The Divine do the heavy lifting.
Intend it to be very simple, and it is.
The first thing you do to stop over-empathing is make a solid decision: “I intend to stop taking on other people’s energy, feel my OWN feelings, get myself happy, and mind my own business.” If you still can’t stop, get individual help.
Second thing, if I have picked up a bit of low vibration (I am human): Prostrate (Lie on the floor face down with your hands extended above your head in prayer position) and lay it all down at the feet of The Presence. That does it. That is all you need to do. You don’t need to surround yourself with white light, or do anything to clear it.
If I do happen to take on some of a client’s burden, or spend any time wondering, “Will they get better?” I remind myself that is not my business, and that I am in the way when I doubt or take it on or worry about it. Even though I do have a shamanistic ability to transmute people’s vibration, I do not take on the low vibration on for them like traditional shaman’s do.
People who sit in a strong, high field of resonance with a powerful teacher get a valuable chance to align to it (even from across the world while listening to audios), which helps them move gradually from their old lower vibrational range up into a higher vibrational range. When they do that, and BOTH let go, miracles happen. If I as the teacher didn’t let go, I’d be in the way. If they won’t yet let go, miracles do not happen yet.
If it’s they who won’t let go, it is not my business.
If it is me who won’t let go, that is my responsibility.
If they haven’t come to me and asked for help, as in family or friend situations, it is not my business, and I let go period. My job is to love them and appreciate them, not fix them.
Just like everywhere else in life, if it’s too big for you, lay it down-give it over to The Presence.
Some people need to be a healer or helper to feel “important” or special, or to be on a special mission. If this is you, address this immediately, as it is the worst reason there is to be a healer. You need to feel worthy, valued, and complete independent of what you do. If you need people to make you important or say you’re powerful, you’re on a slippery slope. It never leads to fulfillment.
Someone who needs a teacher or counselor’s help has temporarily forgotten who they are, and the goal is for them to remember, and as soon as possible, not need the teacher. If you need to be needed, there is a void within you, and you find your fullness it by going within to The Presence, not by helping others.
You may say, “Well, I take on their problems or negativity because I love, care for, and have compassion for them.” But it doesn’t help them. Holding a vision of someone as broken, powerless, weak, and needing you to fix them on an ongoing basis makes you a contributor to the problem. Again, it is often your terror and lack of allowing the flow and the goodness of Life that has you be controlling, or try to carry others and manage the Universe, which is perfectly orchestrated. Learn how it works and you’ll love it!
Jesus simply did not see people as sick or crazy, so they could not be sick or crazy for long in his Presence. Being human, his vibration did falter a few times, thus his crucifixion. He recovered his equanimity on the cross, in extreme circumstances! He is not meant to be an example of martyrdom being a good thing, as Christian theology has proposed. His message was love and Grace–redemption without paying any price for it.
Some say they’re so sensitive that they can’t go out in crowds. That is just a sign that their own vibration is unsteady, and they can’t control it. You can learn to control it. It’s the one thing in the Universe you can and should control–yourself. One who is grounded, balanced, and has set clear intentions will not be much disturbed by other people’s vibrations.
If you vibrate significantly with someone else’s low vibration, it simply means there is some tiny hum of that vibration within you that attracted it. It means you let outside vibrations determine yours, rather than the other way around. Otherwise a low vibration would not resonate with you, or stick to you at all. You would bop happily right through it.
If you enjoy using your sensitivity to pick up useful information, as I do, each time you get useful and uplifting information, appreciate it and rave about it, then let it go.
When you feel something negative from someone, say, “That is not mine, and while I say ‘yes and thank you for the information’ to it, it must move on up.” Thus you train your system to do what you want. Practice everywhere, all the time until your body gets the new habit. It’s easy.
Low vibrational information about your clients is not who they really are.
Don’t believe it, get invested in it, dramatic about it, or attached to it.
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